Relationships and Food - Fortunes

Is it possible that human behavior can be predicted by studying the foods that people consume? I would like to think so, and Steve would too. Below is an article I wrote based on an original theory of Steve's and findings of mine from further studies.

Relationships and Food

steve's theory on dressings

While sitting in Cate with Steve and some guys he works with in the cafeteria, Steve revealed his theory on how people relate to each other. Steve proposed that all people in the world fall into one of two main catagories based on their dressing prefrence: Mayo or Mustard. Next Steve introduced the notion that people relate to each other based upon these catagories. According to him, Mustard people (yellowheads from here on out) and Mayo people (whiteheads from here on out) get along with each other. This idea was presented with examples from his on life. He told of his existence as a whitehead and his sister being a yellowhead and how the two of them get along. While on the other hand, Steve and his parents are mutual whiteheads, therefore they tend to not get along well.

I know what you are thinking. You are saying to yourself, "Sure, but this is only a specific example of Paula Abdul's research on how 'opposites attract'." Well, this was my initial reaction too, but this theory goes much deeper than that. I asked Steve, "What happens if a person likes both?" At this point Steve looks as though he was expecting this question. He replies, "Thats where the ketchup factor comes in."

the ketchup factor

Suddenly everything began to clear up in my mind. All those years of unsuccessful relationships, and it's all been because of the ketchup factor. The ketchup factor is simple. In the case where two people are both whiteheads or both are yellowheads, the ketchup factor comes into play. If one person likes ketchup and the other does not, then these two people would get along, but if they both like or dislike ketchup then the two people should be hostile to each other.

Whats that? You say there is no rule for when a person is not a yellowhead or a whitehead. Well, these types of people are wierd, but there are actually rules that determine their relationships with others. There are numerous other factors that play a small role in the dressing theory.

other factors

There are other things that can play slight roles in determining how people react to each other. These are extremely complicated so I will not waste my time attempting to explain them to the masses. However, if you would like to do some research of your own then look into the following: the ranch effect, the honey mustard twist ,and the relish-reversal of relationships.

conclusion

When it comes down to it, the proof is in the pudding. Steve's theory on dressings will one day be taken as scientific fact. Until then we must research further and pass on the word. For those disbelievers out there, remember that when Columbus said the world was round people did not believe him either.